WouldaCouldaShoulda: 5 Incredible Movies That Never Happened

'Greta Garbo & Monroe' would've looked great on a marquee

March 30, 2026

Unmade’s quarters (Image via eBay)

With all the crappy movies that get made, it’s shocking when intriguing concepts — whether potential classics or potential hot messes — fall by the wayside, never to b revisited again.

Check out this list of five films that almost, but never, ultimately, got made.

Dazzler, the comic. Dazzler, the graphic novel. Dazzler, the … movie? (Images via Marvel)

#5 — Disco Dazzler (1979)

“Dazzler,” a character created at Marvel to capitalize on the disco craze, almost came to life with Bo Derek, Donna Summer, the Village People, David L. Lander, Michael McKean and KISS. Her special power was her ability to harness light (she could do her own light shows!). I wonder if she would’ve tied villains up with velvet ropes?

Apparently, the film was canceled at the last minute when Marvel refused to hire Bo’s then-husband John Derek to direct it.

Madonna and Demi — with Diane von Furstenburg at The Party in 2008 after the Oscars … for which Leda and Swan likely would not have been a contender (Image via tear sheet)

#4 — Leda and Swan (1991)

The late, great Joel Schumacher, then best known for the films St. Elmo’s Fire (1985) and The Lost Boys (1987), purportedly wrote (or was at least set to direct) a female buddy movie about cops. He wrote it specifically for Madonna and Demi Moore, but the production never went forward when Moore became pregnant. No info on why it never surfaced in another form, but picture those two in uniforms and joking around while frisking perps?

#3 — A Confederacy of Dunces (2006)

Everyone and their brother has expressed interest in this legendary literary classic by John Kennedy Toole, but did you know that Will Ferrell wanted to make and star in this around 2004? He would have dragged Drew Barrymore, Lily Tomlin and Mos Def along with — and that’s mos def a production I would have had to check out.

David Gordon Green, who had been slated to direct, wrote at the time:

“To the disappointment of many of us, Dunces was put on hold last year. We had assembled the cast of my dreams (Will Ferrell, Lily Tomlin, Mos Def, Drew Barrymore, Olympia Dukakis, etc.) and I adopted New Orleans as my new home, but politics over the property rights — torn between Miramax, Paramount, and various camps of producers — put a weight on the project that wasn’t creatively healthy to work within. The draft of the script by Scott Kramer and Steven Soderbergh did the novel justice, and also provided a healthy cinematic spotlight for these eccentric characters, but it didn’t cater to a lot of the clichés or conditioning of contemporary American studio sensibilities. So I suppose the difficulty was even beyond the political baggage and paperwork, and stemmed in many ways from the manner in which I wanted the film to be executed. I believe in the dramatic foundation and comedic highlights of these characters and am not interested in the cartoon version of obvious comedy that has often been pushed for. I have yet to develop a project within the studio system that has been made, for whatever stubborn resistance to compromise on my part with the machine … The history of the book and various efforts for a filmed version make an epic of their own. (I would have loved to see the Harold Ramis-directed early ‘80s take with John Belushi, Ruth Gordon and Richard Pryor). My hope is that we get our paws on the flick, and Kramer writes his memoirs of the whole deal.”

As he alludes in his statement, others had tried and failed. Over time, the prospective film has had the following actors desiring to star in it: John Belushi (who died before it happened), John Candy, Jonathan Winters, Divine (yes, directed by John Waters), Chris Farley, John Goodman, Jack Black and Zach Galifianakis.

@boyculturedotcomGreta Garbo has long been regarded as one of the absolute greats of the cinema. Yet, her entire film career was contained within a 17-year period, 1924-1941. The Oscar nominee stopped making movies after her 28th, “Two-Faced Woman” in 1941, flopped. Why did she stop? It was in part due to the war and in part out of a fear that she was beginning to show her age. It has been argued she didn’t intend to quit, but simply never made another film as anxieties mounted and realistic opportunities faded. Ever after, she was a legendary woman of mystery, keeping to herself and embodying the apocryphal phrase, “I vant to be alone.” In 1949, she emerged to sit for a top-secret screen test for a proposed movie version of Balzac’s novel “La Duchesse de Langeais,” to be written and directed by Max Ophüls. She signed a contract — but the film was never made. The footage was hidden until 1990, the year she died at 84. That footage has often been remarked upon as evidence she was still miraculously beautiful, even in her accidental retirement. It’s alarming to look back and realize she was just 43 years old — hardly a medical marvel that she was still a stunner. You know who is 43 right now? Kirsten Dunst. Beyoncé. Jessica Biel. Constance Wu. Kelly Clarkson. Priyanka Chopra. These kinds of comparisons are never about who “looks good,” and always about our perceptions of age over the years. #gretagarbo #movies #aging

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#2 La Duchesse de Langeais (1949)

Greta Garbo had been one of the world’s biggest stars in the ‘30s, but catty reviews and weak B.O. for what wound up being her final film, Two-Faced Woman (1941), put the kibosh on her eagerness to step before the cameras again. Still, she was ready to work when she signed on to star in an adaptation of this 1834 Balzac novel, to have been directed by Max Ophüls. Well into her forties (and still stunning), Garbo would’ve played a noblewoman cockteaser in a story spiked with freemasonry. Financing fell through.

Above, Garbo’s screen test for the film. Shot in 1949, this footage was rediscovered in 1990, the year of her death at 84.

The picture of Mercedes de Acosta (Image via Reynal & Company)

#1 The Picture of Dorian Gray (1950s)

Speaking of Garbo, at least one book claims that the admiring older actress was Swede on Norma Jeane, desiring her to co-star in a remake of The Picture of Dorian Gray. Garbo’s fling Mercedes de Acosta is the one who spilled, in her book Here Lies the Heart: A Tale of My Life (1960), writing:

“Greta had a bright idea. She said she would like to play Dorian Grey [sic] and have me write the scenario. I said, ‘You go tell Irving [Thalberg] that idea and have him throw you out the window — not me!’ But she was right. At that time, she could have played this role brilliantly.”

This sounds too bizarre to be ignored. Had it happened, would it be considered one of Marilyn’s classics or one of her blunders?⚡️